This diet does make you stronger!

I didn't eat anywhere near 100% this week end, in fact Fri I was snacking on jerky, bread, cheese and then had a HUGE plate of alfredo with pasta... and onion rings... and creme brule'. Oh it was the best, but at 2:30 am I woke up with THE worst stomach ache!! I felt terrible and it took me all day just guzzling water every half hour or so and eating several plums, bananas and all kinds of "healthy" food to clean me out and get rid of the indigestion. It was really not comfortable at all. However I was really happy to see that my weight did not fluctuate as badly as I thought it would. I have eaten much less and seen my weight yo yo, and it actually stayed in a 2 lb range after ALL that crud this week end!!

Today I'm back to eating really good... nan-na's for breakfast, apples for snacks... bought a bunch of romaine lettuce and extra good veggies for this week. My son is going to be starting to eat along with me, so I'm looking forward to having the company and I'm glad that he's being so supportive of my endeavor!!

So last night I go to bed, wake up at midnight and then bam, I'm AWAKE. I had read on the net that some people have their sleep need shortened, but only have 2 days? Geez! So I tossed and turned, in a way I was happy, less sleep, cool! But not at Midnight! Finally I did fall asleep, but had weird nightmares about cutting off my arm and such and putting it on the BBQ. Not sure about that one. Then I woke up, went back to sleep and had this fantastic lucid dream!

Went shopping for the mini-vacation this week end. I'm pretty happy about that. I really need a breather from the kids, the house and just "the stuff" in general. I was happy to see that there were coconuts available, however I didn't buy any, I didn't think taking that on a trip was going to be super helpful... I can see me trying to crack one open in the truck... they did have some kiwi's on sale... and some plums... the pears looks terrible and I could see why they had them discounted, GROSS!!

Last nights dinner was also an interesting treat, although I adapted to it pretty quick, it was pretty weird at first. Everyone tried one, but no one went back... ha ha ha.
Brocolli... carrots... (spice) red pepper... corn... all put into the blender and then dehydrated into little patties... I ate all mine... I'm slowing getting used to the taste of veggies... it's probably going to get easier as it goes, but there is still that "yuck" reflex at times... I just hold it back and think little train thoughts.

Now I just have to finish all the "other stuff" before the trip and I'm ready to go!! Yippee!!

Raw Day 2

Man yesterday was a tough emotional day for me. I think mentally it was hard to wrap my brain around "how am I going to do this", but I did okay! I blew up around dinner time, and they say that this is not only physically cleansing, but spirtually as well. I actually told my husband that I was miserable at home and wanted to go back to work (which is something he is against) but he doesn't realize how unhappy I am being imprisoned every day with nothing that I feel is important to do. I feel like my soul is starving because it isn't achieving in my own life. He thinks that I should be happy "just taking care of everyone", and I think he knows how important what I do is, and yes I agree, everyone would fall apart if I didn't do it, but the problem is just that, if I didn't do it, no one would, which to me is disgusting. I went around yesterday cleaning up the yard which has been like that for 2 weeks and NO ONE will get off their own butts and do anything about it. I'm tired of being the maid, and when someone doesn't have something, it's MY fault... no one here is held accountable or being responsible for themselves, they lay it all on me and I get none of the respect but all the blame. I'm tired of livng that way. I need a life outside this house. I'm starting to really resent my entire family for all the stuff they throw in my lap and whine and complain when I didn't jump up and down in excitement when they did. Really I think the kids can start to do their own laundry, they can manage to take out the garbage when it's full, they can manage to get their own lunches together and keep their own space cleaned up. I'm tired of being the one who is constantly thwarting disaster after disaster because no one knows how to be responsible for themselves and have a goal to work towards. They have no standards, they have no ideals, it's no wonder they are both the way they are, and my cave man of a husband isn't so great either, if I didn't half hand him everything he'd never eat or get his own stuff put away or know where to find it. I'm tired of dealing with that. I'm 34, I'd like to be able to move on with my own stuff and not have to constantly worry about their "needs"... which wouldn't be a problem at all if they'd just take the time to do it. Oh well. I think it's the food in me and the poisen coming out. I did a lot of thinking and I think that people act the way they do because of the garbage in them. I believe that our thoughts and memories are stored all over the body, not just the brain, and if your entire body is full of garbage, its no wonder we can't think right, it's like trying to find something in my sons room, GOOD LUCK!! Plus, I've always been into getting the most out of what you do, and I think if I'm going to eat something, I should be getting the most out of that pursuit. So I'm feeling better... I wasn't as tired today as I was yesterday, I think my body was literally churning in slow motion and I needed that break to get it going in an entirely different direction. I took an hour and a half nap yesterday... pretty different for me!! Plus I think the lack of coffee was probably not a help, I'm so used to being jacked up on drugs!! I did have to take a tums this morning, yesterday and today I had heart burn, which is a different thing for me, but maybe thats just my body usually having to create such a high amount of acid in order to digest what I eat, and now it's not as much to digest, so it's like acid-over kill.

Raw Day 1

Day 1 of raw...

Had a big smoothie for breakfast, it was different than usual because it had chunk-ies in it, but it tasted good.

My son opened a banana so I had it when I came home so it wouldn't get wasted.

For lunch I made a big bowl of apple slices, handful of strawberries and some dates for dessert. *note to self* Don't eat the dates BEFORE any of the others because they will taste very tart and sour. Strawberries tasted bitter against the date taste. If I use dates in a dessert plate I think I'll be careful about how tart any of the other additives are!!

I feel ok-ay, I'm hungry and want to eat more... and I'm cold, but I think it's the weather. I put on an extra shirt and finished another glass of water. I wish I had something else to think about besides food!! I think it's adding to my hunger!

I'm trying to decide if doing the 4 mi is a good idea or not today... some site say that an hour of exercise everyday is a must, and another I just read said that sometimes over working the body is a problem. I want to work out, but at the same time I'm on a crash from what I think is the lack of protein. I want to eat some protein but I don't know if it would help or hurt.

I guess I can work out and see how I feel and then decide!!